Thoughts

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nikhiltri's picture

Hey all,

I was at the BoF in Chicago and I've been following the discussions in the group since then. It's been hard for me to think about the ideas and criticisms brought up because I've felt like we were jumping ahead to end goals without having a clear direction of how to get there and what we're here for. If I may, I'd like so share some thoughts I've been simmering on.

To me, this group is more about connections with others than it is about Drupal. As people of constituencies that have been systematically oppressed historically and in present time, we often find ourselves feeling isolated and powerless. Seeking connection with others is a reasonable way to fight this, but damn, why do we still feel so isolated and lonely when we're surrounded be other developers and designers at DrupalCons and Camps? I feel like we can talk about initiatives and projects, and even execute them really well and thoughtfully. But it's connections and closeness with others in the community that's at the crux of what we're each looking for.

I myself have tried to find this in other communities throughout my life: the gymnastics team in high school, community theater in college, cultural student associations in college, relationships in my work-life, etc. I've tried and I've done well. But with Drupal, there's such a big community of users out there, so many blog posts, so many tweets, so many meetups, but I don't really feel like "a part of" this community, because I don't really have strong connections with others in this community. I've tried, and I've found it really hard when my early feelings of isolation get restimulated, like, for example, when I'm the only person of color in a room. Especially when it feels like no one is thoughtful about that fact. These feelings may be felt by others who have been drawn to this group, and they may play out in very different ways. But I'd like to argue that many of us feel isolated even when at the surface it must feel like we have close connections with others.

So I'd like to propose we shift our thinking a bit. Let's not jump ahead to talk about scholarships, or committees, or even fret too much about what we call ourselves. These are all great and important things, but for a minute, let's focus on thinking about how we can create closer connections with people in this community for ourselves. Not for any other constituencies of people, but simply for ourselves.

I have a few thoughts on how to move forwards considering this end goal, and there are so many thoughtful, intelligent people part of this group, I'm sure others will have some great ideas to contribute, too. Here are my ideas:

  1. Let's each take on an initiative (or a few if we have the capacity) to create mini-groups of people within our constituencies. Let's look for people within the Drupal community, or people we know in other realms of our lives we can work towards bringing into the Drupal community. Let's be gentle with ourselves with what that group looks like (2 people can big, big win in some cases). Let's be gentle with ourselves and give us lots and lots of time to really get there. Let's meet up in person or on-line, and get to know each other outside of the Drupal world. I imagine mini-groups of women, of working class or raised-working class folks, african heritage folks, young people, latin@s, immigrants, children of immigrants, queer folks, etc. I'm hesitant to even start listing ideas of groups because I don't want to minimize groups I don't yet think well about. But basically, any part of ourselves that feels like the "only one" of, let's try to create mini-groups of to help create connection for ourselves around the places that get hard for each of us.

  2. Let's help each other learn how to be allies to us. This should be a long-term goal, should be an effort of our mini-groups so we're not taking this on alone, and perhaps we shouldn't even start thinking about this until we've given ourselves enough time to take a few tries at (1). This can get sticky and hard, so we'll need to think about creative ways we can do this. For me as a raised-working class south asian child of immigrants, it's hard to talk to a group of middle-class white people about how to be an ally to me. Not to say that it's not possible, or all the intentions aren't in the right place or anything like that, it's just hard for me because a lot of feelings come up that make it hard for me to think well in a space like that. But knowing how to be an ally to me will help bridge a really hard gap between us and fight against the loneliness I might feel in that area of my life. It may take a long time before we can even start thinking about this one, but I'd like to make it a goal.

  3. Let's starting talking off-line. Discussing and supporting each other in this type of work is really hard to do through a keyboard. We'll need to help each other think about what accomplishing (1) and (2) will look like for each of us, because for each of us it can look very different. Message boards tend to restimulate the very isolation we're trying to fight. Can we have weekly skypes? or conference calls? What are other ways we can stay connected?

Those are my thoughts. I'm happy to talk to folks directly on- or off-line to help think about this. I'd love to talk to you and get to know you a little better!

With hugs,
nikhil