There are quite a few members in the Drupal community who have Aspergers. We are the eccentric ones that write amazing code but act a bit od. Few of us come out and announce our disability since it could be rather damaging. I decide to speak out because I have nothing to loose by doing so.
I have had allot of early problems with Drupal. I came in with a very eager attitude to help. I had been apart of other older CMS systems (postnuke) and wanted to bring what I learned to Drupal. Unfortunately my communication failed Me and I quickly was seen as a Troll. It ended badly. My second attempt was to lurk around and be less aggressive. This worked allot better. As I developed relationships I was able to be more out spoken.
I left the Drupal community when I met this woman, and just recently came back when I started working on another project. I am starting to fear that I am again being a bit too eager. I do not know if these feelings are rooted or if they are simple anxiety. I will probably go back into the shadows for awhile. BTW, that Woman is now My Wife:)
I have been asked to come here and share or explain how to deal with people who have Aspergers, but honesty I don't know. Some of us have unusual boundaries, The problem with Aspergers is that we act in ways that are seen as inapropriate by just about everyone else but us. We wonder why people get upset by when we unkowingly make hostile or insulting remarks. I find that even when people point out that what I said was hurtful I often times don't receive the message or understand in anyway how those remarks could be hurtful.
PERSONALLY I do not get subtly, and prefer a much more honest, upfront transparent approach. Just tell me how it is. I wonder how my Drupal friends deal with me, maybe they have more insight then I do on what I do wrong and how they deal with it.
I am in a very successful marriage, and I am sure my wife has quite a bit of knowledge on the subject. She would probably say patience is key. I do love to tell people that My Wife is the Most AMAZING woman on the planet, that she is everything to me, she is confident, loving and the best thing that ever happened to me:) I do not feel comfortable sharing much more.
There is no cure, drug or treatment that will fix us. Some feel that DBT can help us, and I do practice allot of it, but honestly its benefits are minimum at best. I find more benefit from My Personal Spiritual Program.
It was VERY difficult coming to terms with this illness. It took awhile to accept it, and more importantly accept the limitations. I never expected to ever find a Wife. I now find blessings of things that I never expected to ever have.
A few years ago I attempted to create a group for us Drupallers with Disabilities that could be private and where we could find assistance in communication and other problems that we face while working with all of you "Normal" people. The idea was that we could a place to help people with reviewing drafts of posts, and helping to create mutually beneficial relationships that could help us in succeed in the open source community. Maybe prevent the another situation that I found myself in. Unfortunately at that time it was denied.
It is amazing at how many times people have said things about ADD, LD and Aspergers in front of me, and how many people think this is all just an excuse for our actions. Little do they know who they are talking to, and more over, how wrong they are. I do not expect special treatment, and I do not expect to be excused for poor actions. All I try to do is my best, and do it every day of my life. If I go to bed at night and know I have tried to help out another person I have succeeded. If I wrong someone I apologize for it and try to make it right. I make no excuses.
Anyways, that is MY story, I know others are totally different from me. I am definitely not a Typical Aspergers. Honestly I do not even know what that is. I can only tell you My Story.