At my company we've been hosting informal Drupal coding events between the regular monthly meetings. Recently, the local community picked a Habitat for Humanity team as the benefactor of the next Drupal barnraising event, and we were asked to host.
This team, however, is affiliated with a local church, so I was naturally curious to see what their stance was on the LGBTA community. They don't have an official stance, but they employ a former executive director of Exodus International, the group that aims to "cure" gays and lesbians. This employee has also published a number of books on the topic.
So I declined to host the barnraising for this team. Yes, the team builds houses for the poor, but they are also one degree of separation from a group that I find repugnant.
I'm curious to know how others would have dealt with this situation. I think I made the right decision, but I'd like to know how other people think about these issues. How do you weigh conflicting factors like this? Is it a fuzzy line or a hard line?
Comments
Look for Opportunities
This is a great question Shannon.
If your group has direct interaction with the benefactor, which I'm not clear on, it might be a great opportunity to find common ground and then build bridges. It's likely that many in the Habitat for Humanity team don't agree with the ED of the church but aren't aware or motivated to challenge him/her. In my experience, if you can establish common interest with people who are basically of good will, whether it be Drupal coding or building Habitat homes, then you can open the door to a sincere conversation about how the actions of groups like Exodus International are really hurtful (either directly to you or to people you are concerned about). Because they now know, respect and hopefully care about you, it may help them care about the issue. Even if it isn't apparent right away, your words and actions might plant a seed so that the next time someone has a similar conversation they may be able to hear more.
I also think it is fine to share your process in weighing this issue and questioning the right action with the team.
Peace,
Vonn
Drawing the line...hmmm...
This is a very low week for me. When I got your post Shannon it put me over the top...I just found out that the Governor and Legislatures and even now the Senate in Michigan have voted to no longer extend health insurance benefits for public employees in Michigan. They are now attacking private companies that do offer these benefits and next on the docket is individual cities in Michigan that have anti discrimination clauses in their charters. They want ALL of Michigan to be anti LGBT. That being said, I am looking to make a move to a more LGBT friendly place. This has been my home for my entire life. I have paid major $$ in taxes to basically be told that my family does not count.
So, when you said that you decided not to host the barnraising, I think that is appropriate. We need to keep STRAIGHT America accountable for their actions.
Just my two cents...
Mark Bitman
5781 Grand River Drive
Grand Ledge, MI 48837-8958
Drawing a line
@Mark: I encourage you to stay and fight that move. It takes votes, voters, and outspoken individuals to prevent crap like that.
Vonn is right. If you can find a way to get a conversation started, then you could make a change. Pick your battles, but also know when to get out. H4H is somewhat left-leaning and may not have realized that person stood for what he does. They may have requested censure on his beliefs, which may have, in turn, encouraged the church to take an official stance. Then you would have known how they feel.
I was contacted some time ago about doing a site for a religious group. In looking at their current content, I saw that they were leaning to the right and against any kind of "liberal" thinking - like what the Bible really says. I decided that any dialog with them would fall on deaf ears, so I declined to help them. I'm sure they found someone else, but I felt satisfied with my decision.
To answer your last question, you can start with a hard line, but have such an impact that it becomes fuzzy, or even disappears.
Nancy Dru
Conversations
I hear you, @Mark, but I also look for opportunities for conversation. I once had an organization contact me for assistance. It was an oddly feminist organization - "Christians for Biblical Equality"- but their mission statement included marriage as "one man, one woman". I declined to help, but I had a long conversation with the woman who had contacted me about why I declined to help, and she really appreciated the conversation. She was in a world where she felt like in order to make her case, she had to tow the line about sexuality. For her, it was a matter of one issue at a time. She basically agreed with my perspective, but her organization's viability among evangelicals required them to do what they did.
So we can totally choose when to draw the line, but doing it in such a way that makes conversation possible is good. And besides, the data shows pretty clearly that the more queer people you know, the more likely you are to be queer-friendly.
Maintaining Integrity
Just to echo the sentiment in this thread, I think it's important to look for opportunities to build bridges and encourage dialog, so long as those opportunities are not at the expense of one's own personal values. I think that's really where the line has to be drawn, and it's going to be a little different for everyone. I for one couldn't support an organization that is not accepting of the LGBTQA community. It's just not going to happen, and if it costs me a professional opportunity, so be it. That said, I can't count the number of times I've put up with homophobic comments from individuals who were otherwise friendly to me (unaware of my orientation), and worked with them to do something awesome that was otherwise unrelated. After they've seen for a while that my orientation and identity have no bearing on my ability to build websites or be a decent human being in general, it usually comes up in passing, and they tend to feel rather sheepish about their behavior. Almost all of them have made a conscious effort to be more accepting. I'm fortunate to be working in a much more accepting environment now, but these situations are bound to come up for as long as we're all around, I'm sure.
YMMV, of course, and having thick skin helps. But I think it's important to remember that you can maintain a sense of integrity without being combative, making those conversations possible.