Setting the tone

I've been reading an Agile book called Agile Coaching http://pragprog.com/titles/sdcoach/agile-coaching off and on when I get some spare time, and it talks a bunch about the project manager's role and impact in setting the tone for the team. We are often the one person who talks to each developer on a regular basis, is very much in tune with management/owner(s), and also talks to the clients directly.

We have all of these people who we interact with, and buffer between, who we need to support and nurture, but also bring the hammer down on when necessary. Everyone needs to trust us, and feel able to go straight to us when there is a problem, and we are also often the first people who receive feedback on the work the company is doing.

Because we are so involved in most aspects of what's going on, on a day-to-day basis, the book talks about the impact we have in regards to setting the tone in terms of the vibe that there is either in the office or just generally among the team.

Despite this being pretty obvious, personally it was actually a bit of an ominous awareness for me. On the personal side, my day to day attitude depends a lot on how I'm feeling health-wise (I have chronic illnesses), as this fluctuates pretty radically and unpredictably, so of course it affects how I am processing things going on at work. When I'm not feeling well, I may just work from home, but I might also be less proactive, might not be as encouraging or patient, or just might not be able to give my usual gung ho enthusiasm.

I of course try and temper it as much as anyone would any personal things going on, but it was a pretty intense awareness that was brought to me that I might have that big of an impact, if I am having low energy, or just not on my game. Though I don't by any means need to hide that part of what I'm dealing with from the team, I know I need to be really conscious of how it affects my demeanor, and how much my demeanor sets the tone with the entire team.

Anyway, this has been percolating in my head a lot, the idea of the PM being integral in setting tone within a team, and how we can master that while dealing whatever personal struggles we might individually encounter (whether it be health, parenting, or whatever other usual life stresses we deal with).

And also, sort of a different side of this, how to keep a consistent tone alongside whatever other issues might be coming from within the team or from our clients, ie. trying not to allow client-side issues to trickle down and affect the development team too heavily, and not allowing internal issues to bubble up to impact clients. I'm thinking of this kind of like some kind of membrane that we don't let anything too severe pass through.

This is something I've been learning as I go (not being formally trained in PM), but it's all been percolating in my head lately after reading this stuff, and I'd like to eventually write up a blog post related to it. I guess as part of my "research" I would really love to hear any ideas, stories, feedback, etc. that the rest of you might have around these issues.

Thanks!